jaclcfrost:

if the song “tiptoe through the tulips” ever starts playing, run. don’t ask questions. don’t hesitate. just run. run

my sarcasm is at it’s best when I hear a stupid question

saggiest:

Fun prank idea: murder someone so you can go to prison for life and never have to go to school again

heteroh:

when your parents threaten to take your allowance away

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